Welcome to the first’ Rasslin Revue, my tribute to the old Online Onslaught website I was a big fan of from several years back and my take on WWF/E pay-per-views from years gone by.

Royal Rumble 1990 took place on 21 January 1990 from the Orlando Arena in Orlando, Florida.

Current Champions

  • WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan
  • Intercontinental Champion: The Ultimate Warrior
  • Tag Team Champions: The Colossal Connection (André the Giant and Haku)

The broadcast opens with Vince McMahon narrating the Rumble participants, then we head inside the Orlando Arena to Tony Schiavone and Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura for commentary. It’s strange seeing Schiavone under the WWF banner (it would be his last pay-view before moving to WCW), while Ventura is decked out in Mickey Mouse merchandise.

The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers w/Jimmy Hart vs. The Bushwhackers

We begin the ‘Rasslin Revue with the awesome Fabulous Rougeau’s theme and Jacques is sporting a full beard, something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Lots of comedy spots in the early going of this WrestleMania V rematch with the Bushwhackers biting Jacques, then the referee’s backside. Schiavone makes a comment that people love the Bushwhackers and he’s not wrong, they are extremely popular. Luke becomes the Bushwhacker-in-peril as things settle down. Come classic cheating tactics from the Rougeau Brothers behind the back of the referee as Butch fires up the crowd. Ventura is such a good heel commentator, that’s evident from the outset. The two teams actually mesh well with the Rougeau’s doing the technically-sound work while the Bushwhackers entertain. Jimmy Hart grabs Butch’s leg as they attempt the Battering Ram, only to be dragged inside. Jacques and Raymond make the save. Unintentional comedy as referee Danny Davis goes to make a count only to slide out under the bottom rope. Battering Ram lands, knocking the Rougeau’s into each other and Luke pins Jacques. I enjoyed that as an opener. [**1/2]

Ted DiBiase is interviewed by Gene Okerlund alongside Virgil. He’s still unhappy about the issues around his number 30 being stripped last year. The ‘Million Dollar Man’ is revealed as entering at number 1. He’s such a great heel.

The Genius vs. Brutus ‘The Barbar’ Beefcake

The Orlando Arena are en~fuego even for Brutus, what are they going to be like when Warrior and Hogan come out for the Rumble?? A poem from the Genius is good fare but then he spends the opening moments stalling. Clean break from Beefcake before he mocks the Genius’ effeminate and elaborate movements. At one point Beefcake smacks his booty. Genius takes the shortcut but after taking an atomic drop, then rolling out the ring. Lots of over-the-top selling from the Genius, although when Brutus has him straddling across the top rope, he chooses to drag him down by his ankles rather than shake the ropes up and down. The Genius gets pushed into the referee as he escapes a sleeper attempt from Brutus. Some Struttin’ and Cuttin’ from Beefcake sees him lock on the sleeper again but there’s no official. With the referee down and Genius out from the sleeper, Brutus cuts Genius’ hair. Mr. Perfect interferes, he hits a Perfect-Plex as the bell sounds. Perfect uses a chair on Beefcake before referees hit the ring to put an end to it. The decision is a double disqualification. Ventura has a point when he says that Brutus’ haircut was horrible. You’d think ‘The Barber’ was at the very least competent in his trade. [*1/2]

The Heenan Family consisting of ‘The Brain’, Haku, André the Giant and Rick Rude are interviewed. Sean Mooney can’t get the Rumble entry numbers out of them like Mean Gene did earlier with DiBiase but he does manage to plant some dissention so it’s not completely wasted.

Greg ‘The Hammer’ Valentine w/Jimmy Hart vs. ‘Rugged’ Ronnie Garvin – Submission Match

Both men have braces on their left legs, Valentine to add pressure in his Figure-Four and Garvin’s to block. Valentine has the ‘Heart Breaker’ and Garvin’s is the ‘Hammer Jammer’ according to Jesse Ventura. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever watched Ronnie Garvin in action and perhaps the fact he makes a pinfall attempt in a Submission Match answers why. Stiff chops from both men and Valentine faceplants. Weirdly, both men later go for pins. I get Valentine doing it for heat but Garvin had no need. The pace has slowed throughout the opening three matches, it started fast with the tag match and has progressively reduced to a stroll. Crowd are turning but they come back as Garvin’s brace blocks the effects of the Figure-Four and Garvin laughs in his face. I do like the use of an Indian Deathlock by ‘Rugged’ Ronnie. More stiff chops exchanged on the outside. Jimmy Hart takes off the ‘Hammer Jammer’ and Garvin feels the pain as the crowd wake up to briefly encourage him. Garvin takes off Valentine’s brace and uses it to nail ‘The Hammer’. ‘Reverse Figure-Four’ earns the submission for Garvin. [*]

Gene Okerlund interviews Mr. Perfect, who justifies his interference in the earlier Brutus Beefcake match as a friend of The Genius. He drew the ‘Perfect Number’, of course that’s number 30. Odds on favourite as far as I’m concerned.

The ring is now sporting a carpet as Brother Love introduces ‘Sensational’ Queen Sherri. I can’t abide Brother Love. They make some basic insults towards Dusty Rhodes’ manager Sapphire, including them calling her overweight, somewhat ironic while Brother Love is there. Pot, kettle. Out comes Sapphire in a polka dotted jumper. We’ve really gone downhill since that hot opening match. They insult Sapphire to her face without letting her respond. Sapphire eventually slaps Sherri and here comes the ‘Macho King’, closely followed by Dusty. Sapphire mounts the back of Savage, only for Brother Love to drag her off him. Surely that should have been Sherri’s role. Rhodes slams Brother Love and holds him for Sapphire to slap. The fans are back onside thanks to the ‘American Dream’ but that was rough going.

‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan is interviewed by Sean Mooney prior to his bout with the Big Boss Man. Duggan is set to give the Boss Man a hard time with his trusty 2×4.

Big Boss Man w/Slick vs. ‘Hacksaw’ Jim Duggan

I’m a huge Boss Man fan, so this match automatically earns a star more than it should. Music for Boss Man but nothing for Duggan? That’s strange. I do enjoy the potential of a 2×4 versus a nightstick. They throw hands and Ventura is just brilliant, asking Tony Schiavone if he ever encountered somebody like the Big Boss Man in the slammer. They brawl out around ringside as the referee shows leniency. Nothing scientific, all strikes and the Boss Man shows his agility as he hits an enziguri. Even a long bear hug spot doesn’t hurt this one… in my eyes. I’ll admit they don’t mesh well but both get good reactions. Boss Man misses a big splash. Slick distracts the official for the Big Boss Man to use his nightstick but the referee sees it anyway. DQ for Boss Man. Duggan clears the ring using his 2×4, sending both Boss Man and Slick out to ringside. Boss Man tosses a couple of chairs in the ring, Duggan sits on one and poses. [**]

Canadian Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Demolition, Bad News Brown, Dusty Rhodes, the Rockers, Hercules, Rick Martel, Tito Santana, ‘Superfly’ Jimmy Snuka, Akeem and Intercontinental Champion the Ultimate Warrior all talk about their participation in the upcoming Rumble – the highlights being Hercules referring to the ‘Rumble Royal’ and the Warrior focusing his attention on Hogan.

After a quick stop off with Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura, we’re back to more vignettes. ‘Macho King’ Randy Savage, Mr. Fuji’s Powers of Pain, Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts, Hart Foundation, Honky Tonk Man and WWF Champion Hulk Hogan. The Hulkster went a little overboard on baby oil. ‘The Snake’ is just a superb promo.

‘The Fink’ introduces the Royal Rumble and runs through the rules. This one isn’t for a shot at the WWF Championship, that comes a few years later. Entrants come in every two minutes.

Royal Rumble Match

As mentioned earlier, ‘Million Dollar Man’ Ted DiBiase is number 1 in contract to the previous year when he acquired number 30. Koko B. Ware is number 2 and we’re off to the races. Somebody like DiBiase is a really good choice to come in early, he can anchor the entire match. DiBiase back drops Koko over before number 3 man, Marty Jannetty, enters the fray. The ‘Million Dollar Man’ continues his early form by eliminating Jannetty, who is the first to get entrance music. I had to check but Ted DiBiase didn’t even get music. There was a very loud high-pitched reaction for Marty. Some big names come in at 4, 5 and 6 with Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts at number 4 ending DiBiase’s streak of eliminations. ‘Macho King’ Randy Savage is 5 and ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper 6. Four huge names in the ring together. DiBiase and Savage have formed an alliance. The Warlord at 7 is a disappointment considering the participants already but his power is a contrast. From strength to scientific acumen as Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart is in at 8. No eliminations have taken place since Marty. Bret and Piper work together. In at 9 is Bad News Brown and we have a man out, it’s Jake ‘The Snake’ at the hands of Randy Savage as he attempted to DDT DiBiase. Savage saves DiBiase from going over. Number 10 is Dusty Rhodes to add to the big reputations in the squared circle. He dumps Savage out at the feet of Queen Sherri.

Number 11 is one half of WWF Tag Team Champions The Colossal Connection, André the Giant with Bobby Heenan, and he quickly dumps out Warlord. Bad News is thrown out by Roddy Piper and he comes back up onto the apron to eliminate ‘Hot Rod’. Red Rooster is the next man in but he doesn’t last long as he’s out courtesy of André shortly after number 13 arrives, Ax of Demolition. As an entrant comes out, we get picture-in-picture so it’s difficult to watch both and that meant Rooster’s elimination was largely missed. Ax and Dusty Rhodes tie up André in the ropes, just as Haku enters at 14 and he saves his partner from jeopardy. Some beautiful footwork from Dusty as he jabs away at Haku. There’s a focus on tag teams as Smash of Demolition is in at 15. Both members of Demolition got loud reactions. Speaking of teams, one half of Twin Towers Akeem is 16. Potentially we could have ‘American Dream’ versus ‘African Dream’. Eight men are in the ring. Make that seven as Bret Hart is out at the hands of Dusty Rhodes in the background of shot. I’d have probably given that one to DiBiase. Demolition double team André The Giant, eliminating him. André then saves Haku from the same fate. ‘Superfly’ Jimmy Snuka got number 17 and soon dispatches Akeem. Ted DiBiase is up to 20 minutes in the Rumble.

Demolition attack Snuka, Haku makes the save. Double headbutt by Haku and ‘Superfly’ before they inevitably trade blows. Strong man Dino Bravo enters at 18 alongside Jimmy Hart. Bravo’s partner Canadian Earthquake follows at 19, that’s fortuitous. Earthquake clotheslines Dusty Rhodes from behind, the Canadian makes an impact by sending him over and out. Earthquake picks up Ax and just launches him down to the floor. Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart adds to the tag team competitors in the ring as he comes out at 20. Neidhart leads the charge against Earthquake, he’s joined by Haku, Smash, DiBiase and Snuka. The five men have Earthquake teetering on the ropes, Dino Bravo looked to make a late save but failed. Neidhart did get a good pop but it’s dwarfed by the arrival of number 21, the Ultimate Warrior. The Intercontinental Champion dominates, sending Bravo out and then going after Smash. ‘The Model’ Rick Martel enters at 22, but finds himself met by Smash of Demolition. Haku dumps Smash over the ropes onto the apron, then a savate kick eliminates him. Martel’s former Strike Force partner Tito Santana is the next man in and he goes after ‘The Model’. Nobody is eliminated as the focus is on Ted DiBiase having survived since being the first entrant.

Honky Tonk Man is 24 as Rick Martel ends the hopes of Jim ‘The Anvil’ Neidhart with an unlikely assist from Ultimate Warrior. After almost 45 minutes, Ultimate Warrior clotheslines DiBiase out. A great showing for the ‘Million Dollar Man’. The 25th entrant is WWF Champion Hulk Hogan. Clothesline sends Snuka back to the showers, then he’s joined by Haku thanks to a big boot. Martel slams Santana over. Shawn Michaels runs in at 26 to another high-pitched scream but he lasts seconds thanks to Ultimate Warrior. Hogan gets rid of Honky Tonk Man and Warrior does the same to ‘The Model’ on the far side. It’s Hulk Hogan and the Warrior! WWF Champion vs. Intercontinental Champion! What a moment! Ultimate Warrior slowly turns to see Hogan ready to get it on. Bobby ‘The Brain’ Heenan is still stood at ringside for some reason, he’s got no skin in this game. They clash with shoulderblocks and nobody budges. Double clothesline. The Barbarian is in at 27, he finds both Hogan and Warrior down and has the legitimacy to take it to both big names.

‘Ravishing’ Rick Rude hits the ring but there was no countdown. That explains Heenan’s presence. Warrior saves Hogan from elimination. Hogan thanks Warrior by clotheslining Barbarian and Rude, which knocks Warrior down to the floor. Ultimate Warrior is back in to assault the two men that had him on the ropes, Barbarian and Rick Rude, but not Hogan. Even Jesse Ventura comments on that. Hercules is 29 and that means Hogan has an ally against the two heels. We all know who number 30 is, the recipient of the Perfect draw. Mr. Perfect tries to make it a Perfect Rumble as he races to the squared circle. Perfect is a bundle of energy and he takes down Hogan, stomping all over the WWF Champion. Barbarian clobbers Rude with a boot as Hercules ducks, leading to Herc eliminating Barbarian.

We have a Final Four of Mr. Perfect, Hulk Hogan, Hercules and Rude. Forget that as Rude clotheslines Hercules over the top rope. Double team on the Hulkster. Rude aims a forearm at Hogan but nails Perfect, who lands on the apron. As he pulls himself up, Hogan whips Rude into the ropes and he sails over. I love that sequence! Rude gives Perfect a spray. We’re down to one-on-one. Perfect lands the Perfect-Plex but Hogan shakes it off. Perfect’s shots have no effect. Catapult on Perfect into the ringpost. Hogan tosses Perfect over the turnbuckle to the ground below. Hogan wins the Royal Rumble! [***]

The Verdict: Started hot with the Rougeau Brothers and Bushwhackers, then cooled in the midcard, picked up back with the Rumble. Overall a mild recommendation for the Rumble match itself as there were a lot of big names. DiBiase set a new Iron Man record at 44 minutes and 27 seconds, in contrast Shawn Michaels lasted just 12 seconds. My criticism would be perhaps the moment between Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior could have been saved for the end but if you do that, Warrior has to go over to set up the WrestleMania VI encounter and that might not have been something Hogan was down with. Up next, WrestleMania VI!